


And their eyes met

by speia



Series: My eyes are always on you [3]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: A lot of feels, Arima's PoV, Arima's thoughts during V14, Basically, M/M, Mild Gore, V14, a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-16
Packaged: 2018-09-08 13:43:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8847286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speia/pseuds/speia
Summary: It'll be over soon... We are in V14.





	

How long had he been there? Hours? Was it days? Long, too long. He had killed too many ghouls he had lost the count. He was tired, really tired. He just wanted this to end. He felt like he was standing on the top of a mountain of corpses. What a king he was! King of death and chaos, king of destruction. He heard a faint sound in the distance. Another ghoul? Would they never stop coming? How many of them? Did he really have to fight again? He just wanted to put down his quinque, resign, quit. Close his eyes that couldn't really see and sleep, sleep at last. He was tired. He had guarded V14 for far too long. The ghoul was hesitant, weak, probably as tired of fighting as he was. Did he have to kill? But it was his job. The ghoul was just a shape. His eyes were too blurred, even with his glasses on.

“We are in V14. No ‘ghoul’ is allowed to pass through. You can’t go further than V14.”

This sentence. How many times had he said it already? He was tired, too tired. He just wanted to end this quickly and then to sleep. Another killing, another swing of IXA. He felt his quinque pierce the flesh. And it’d be over before it even started…

 

But not this time. His opponent was tough. Or at least better than all the others he had crossed paths with before. Finally. Someone worthy. A little action. He didn’t feel that tired anymore. He tried to focus, catch a glimpse of that person. He was far from Arima’s level, obviously his power was still immature but there was potential. A lot of potential. _Maybe… maybe he could be…_ He dodged. The moves of his opponent were erratic, he was probably losing his mind. How long had it been? Hours? The entire night? Was it dawn already? He couldn’t catch a sense of time underground. The sounds, perhaps. But they were still fighting. It seemed to him it was raining. He couldn’t be sure though, he couldn’t be sure. IXA touched him, pierced him and the ghoul screamed. _I’m sorry._ He didn’t like it. He had to kill him, the screams were unbearable. _I’m really sorry._ The ghoul was speaking but his words were incoherent. _I don’t want to do this. I don’t._ It was unbearable. The ghoul had to die. Now. Before Arima started to lose his composure.

 

‘ _He is an Ainu._

_His eyebrows shining...’_

Hakushuu? No, it couldn’t be. Arima’s hand stopped midair. _Stop._ He knew this poem, the words were echoing on the walls of V14, the words were echoing in his head. He closed his eyes for a second, he lowered his arm. Yes, it was raining. His senses were dulled but now he was sure. _It’s raining… It’s so pretty… autumn._ He opened his eyes. White hair, black suit, a lot of blood. He wished he could see more, he wished his eyesight could be better. No mistake was possible despite all the damages Arima had done already. Arima knew who this “ghoul” was and his mask had cracked already. _I can’t kill you. You can’t die. I’m sorry._ He stared in blank, listening to the poem, to the broken voice, the rain… The smell of blood was unbearable, he felt sick. This had to end. But he couldn’t. _He’s just like you, Kishou. Just another lost crossbreed._ But this had to end. Arima hurt inside.

 

_I’m sorry._

 

IXA again. He wasn’t really thinking anymore. He knew he pierced him. Several times. He could feel it, it made him sicker and sicker. _I can’t kill him._ This was the worst. The boy wouldn’t stop speaking, the ghoul wouldn’t stop crying. _Please, stop._ The boy had lost his mind, of course after all he went through… _Don’t pity your enemy._ He tried, he really tried. Several times he was close to strike a deadly blow. The boy was so confused it would have been so easy. And Arima would have stopped hearing this pleading voice, those tears. Arima would have stopped hurting, at least for the moment. _I don’t want this feeling to stop. It’s painful but…_ The Grim Reaper, the Death God, the Merciless King. Just a man, he was just a man, despite all his titles. _He’s beautiful. He’s a gracious disaster. And I need him._

_Strangely, I thought he was beautiful._

“You’re good… Kaneki Ken.”

The least he could do. A little compliment, nothing big. It was true the boy was good. He pierced IXA’s defense after all. Even if Arima wasn’t really focused. But now… now was the time. You raise your hand, you kill. No ghoul can pass through V14, this is your job, no ghoul can pass through, no ghoul can pass through, no ghoul can… _He’s not a ghoul. He is just like me, a crossbreed lost in the dark. We’re not so different…_

IXA pierced him again. The blood. So much blood. When would he stop hurting people like that? When would he stop to steal from the others? He had no right to, he wasn’t a god, he never was a god. A puppet, perhaps. CCG’s puppet. But a god… never. When would he stop to hate himself? Never, never. But this boy… He couldn’t kill him. And he was hurting him so badly since he couldn’t kill him.

 

_I’m sorry. I wish I was strong. But you are…_

Lying on the floor, covered in blood like this, Ken looked like a pure white rose growing in the dirt. _You are in bloom._ He needed to kill, it was his job. But he was too gentle even when he pierced the remaining eye.

“I’ll need a new quinque.”

He knew he wasn’t dead. He knew he didn’t have the strength to finish what he started. _I’m so sorry, will you ever forgive me? I tried…_ He casted IXA away in disgust. After all the damages he had done, Ken wouldn’t be able to rise. He wasn’t able to heal anymore. _I tried… but I couldn’t. You’re a rose in bloom._ He kneeled down. Ken was unconscious. Not really a surprise, after this all. He took him in his lap. And their eyes met. Unfocused sick eyes met hollow bloody eye sockets. And their eyes met. Arima was sick. What had he done again? Blood, carnage. He could only destroy, destroy, destroy, destroy.

 

_I’m so sorry. This is not what I wanted. Will you forgive me?_

_I just needed my rose. I just needed to pluck you before you withered._

_Is it selfish of me?_

_I’ll need a new quinque._

_I need an heir._

_I need way more than that._

_You?_

_What do I need?_

_Do you know why the rose is beautiful?_

He didn’t really understand why he was holding him like this, why he kissed his temple, his cheek, his bloody lips. Quickly, too quickly. He had to move on. He carried him with the desire to protect. He was heading out now. It was hard to carry his quinque and the boy but he managed to do it.

“My king, did you find what you were looking for?”

Tatara. _I don’t know._ Arima looked at him with empty eyes. _I really don’t know. How do you know such things? I’m so confused._

_I need an heir._

_I need my rose._

“Yes, I have.”

It didn’t even sound like a lie. He could almost believe it.

 

_Maybe I have… found what I was looking for?_

He looked down at Ken.

 

_Maybe I have found my heir? My son?_

_My… rose?_

 

And their eyes met.

 

 


End file.
